Do I tell my friends fiancé, or not

by Mark
2 years ago

Hi Mark,

A girl I know has been cheating on her fiancé and I don't know if I should tell him or not. I'm a 24-year-old guy and have been friends with her since school. I went out with her for drinks and we bumped into some other friends whilst in our local pub. I was told by one of them, that he had recently slept with her. I was staggered, as she is getting married soon and I thought she loved her fiancé. She's also 24 and I would hate to lose her friendship, but I feel it's wrong of her to get married if she's cheating. I'm wondering if I should tell her fiancé or not. Please help

Marks response

Well, if you want my personal opinion on this matter, anyone thinking about getting married at the age of 24 (or anytime before you're thirty) needs an intelligence test. In fact, let's add that to the list of things I would like to change about this world. I think there should be a test for everything; a test for having children, getting married and if you know the difference between your and you're. That might sort out the overpopulation problem.

Then you tell me she's already cheating on him! This, unfortunately, backs up my idea, that you shouldn't be allowed to get married until you're at least thirty and also have lived abroad for one year. But as I'm not in charge of this world, I don't see my requests of this being put forward to parliament or actioned anytime soon!

I would say, these things have a way of working themselves out and it's only a matter of time until they do so.

Yes, I completely understand that you feel someone should tell the fiancé what is going on and that, if it were you, you would probably want to know. But it's not you. If you feel that strongly about it, what you should do, is approach your friend and ask her if it's true. If she confirms it is, then you should be a good friend and explain to her, that if she really did love her fiancé, then she wouldn't have done it! Therefore she obviously doesn't love him that much.

I don't think it's your right to pass this information on to the fiancé. I think once you've spoken to her, you should then tell her how you feel about what she's done and give her the chance to come clean herself. Who knows, she may just need that little push and support from a good friend. All you need to do is to tell her that everything is alright and that she doesn't have to go through with it if she doesn't want to. Anyone who started to cheat before they have even got married obviously hasn't got their full heart in the situation and is probably having their own doubts about what they're really doing.

I would like to ask... why would anyone, male or female, think that, between your teens and twenties, you would need to rush into getting married. Look around you, people are living longer than ever before and by the time my children grow up, people will probably be able to upload themselves and live forever? Maybe it's all those Disney films your mum and dad used to make you watch as a kid, that make us think we need to get married, have kids, buy a house and do everything before we even hit 25?

Also, if people think that you will meet the one by the time they're 24, then it just goes to show how immature they really are. Out of the 7.5 billion people on this planet and growing, you think that this person you've met before you've even really started to know yourself would be the person you choose to spend the rest of your life with?! And when I say rest of your life, I mean in real terms, forever! God give me strength, or should I say, by the power of grave skull, it would be the same outcome.