Jealous of my partners Instagram account

by Mark
1 year ago

Hi Mark,

I feel so jealous of my boyfriend's Instagram account, that I make him unfollow any girls who I don't like to see. I've always had a jealous streak in me and over the years I've seen how my mum has been with my dad and what has come from it. I'm 23 and my boyfriend is 24, we have been with each other for about a year now and I feel everything is good between us, except for my jealousy issues. I can't stop checking up on him and getting in moods that turn into arguments if I see him chatting to another girl or looking on social media. I've spoken to my mum about this and she has told me to pull myself together or I will lose him like she did dad.

I find it hard, as I have been cheated on in my past relationships and this makes trust a big issue for me. My boyfriend has told me that it's my problem and something that I have to change, or he will not hang around much longer. I know I'm being pathetic and pushing him away, but I spend most of my thoughts, thinking about what he might do or has done with other girls. Please help.

'Mark's response'

Jealousy is always something that can be dealt with and the good news is, you understand that what you're doing is your problem and not your boyfriends. First of all, you need to take a step back from what you think is going to happen and actually see what is happening around you. It's easy for people to make situations up in their heads, especially about what they think their partner are, or will, get up to without them.

You're 23 years old and from the sound of it, you've been brought up in an unhealthy environment. You've been cheated on, you've seen your mum verbally abuse your dad and I would bet, there's some physical abuse thrown in there too. My advice to you is to not be in a relationship with anybody! Not until you can learn to control your own emotions and let others have their own thoughts too. Your boyfriend will probably stick around for longer than he should do, but eventually, he will grow tired of dealing with the same old issues and the arguments that come from it. It's probably not the advice you were hoping for, but it's at least honest. Take some time out of your normal routine of life and try and experience some happy emotions. Go travelling and see how others live differently from how you do. Meet other characters that will talk about things you haven't even thought of before. When you do this, you will open your mind up and learn that when you actually commit yourself to someone and someone to you. It doesn't matter if they look or talk to other people, because they have chosen to be with the person by choice and not because they like the look of them on their Instagram account.

For my own little comment here. All social media can be summed up with one word. Sales! People live their lives through a screen and promote their lies to the world. Do you actually think that the girls your boyfriend is following or looking at look anything like they do in their pictures? Or people who promote how great everything is around them actually have lives like that? No, we have become a nation of people who try and sell a lie to each other. It's not going to be until you get older and to a level in life, that you'll understand what I mean by this and how sales make you jealous of what other people have.

Please don't waste your youth on thoughts and things that haven't even happened and probably won't.